A Presentation

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*damn, It’s my turn…*she thought to herself. what she dreaded most has to come so she has prepared, she had to prepare for it and she did…everything was in place and should’ve all gone well. Her trying harder, the times reading the script over and over and mending it again and again, will finally pay off. Or that was what she thought…until the moment she took off from her seat to get to the front of the class a knot has formed in my stomach and she was on the verge of hyperventilating…she knew she wouldn’t make it, not this time not ever, she started to count to herself *breathe in ‘one’…breathe out ‘one’…breathe in ‘two’…breathe out ‘two’…breathe in ‘three’… …*it seemed the moment she stood in front of the class her mind always wiped clean, cleared out all the distracting memories…but also all her effort… Her body working on like an automaton, her friend reads and she flips the slides…missing out a few slides at times… A thought crept into her mind *my friend must’ve been so annoyed at how distracted I am, my classmates are all gonna see the failure they thought I am…or maybe I really am one…* By the time it was her turn, all that’s left of her confidence and preparation was an empty void of fear. Was it the distant jeering voice from a memory telling her she couldn’t do it; or was it the multiple restrictions and punishments which fell upon her no matter how hard she tried, perhaps…but no one would know…because even she doesn’t. She completed the presentation accompanied with repeated errors and stuttering at words she could once phrase so smoothly, utterly disappointed at herself. As she walks back to her seat relieved that it was finally over, she knew she was defeated once again… As she left the class a fading voice from her memory repeated once more * “you’ll never be enough…” * She couldn’t amend what’s done, but she promised she’d try harder from then on…Perhaps years later she would still be trying, still trying to be better, no one knew when or where would she ever be good enough.

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2 responses to “A Presentation

  1. Let it strengthen you. Wise words. Good post

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