16 Jan 2013

Aw thanx to mummy why is daddy doing this to me..??She has never been nice now even my dad wants to go against me, who can I blame is this family falls apart…should I say it’s my fault..??
Is it my fault that my parents chose to do what they did, their decisions sucked for me.
Stupid stupid shit life, fuck life. But so, do I have the right to judge..?? Maybe it sucked as bad for them…so I just have to take it all in, stay the way I am and pretend I’m happy when I know this is going no where and someday this family is going to fall but since no one cares why should I..?? Even when grand ma died everyone had to pretend they weren’t sad no one was allowed to talk about it and everyone pretended they were not sad no one cared and i had to keep quiet bout it too…after when everyone opened up about it my tears are already dried they’re lost, gone forever. I will not cry. I will not allow myself to. Life just sucks doesn’t it, so I’ll sit and watch and fuck life. Don’t care if I break the law, he did the same… Why do people pretend to care and pretend that they know everything, when they don’t and not even the least.
Okay so time to go through yesterday and what happened… Dad fucking hit me, but why..?? He just lost it. He had enough of mum too I guess… I wonder who will they be blaming when they break up, I swear it will happen one day, then I’d live with no one in my way anymore. Sounds great huh…but it sucks.
I haven’t done it for sometime…The urge is so strong I can’t stand it I wish I could just do it again…
My friend is still in my wallet waiting…but I don’t want my new classmates to see my cuts the scars they will sure think I’m nuts which is sure gonna suck more…life is bullshit.

20130118-133628.jpg

clueless ,
left
lost into bleakness .
silence ,
so hollow
engulfs my soul .
shattered
among those million pieces .
fear and rage cradles my goal .

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